“But why would anyone want to hurt me?” The question came from an 11-year-old during a self-defence workshop I was delivering to girls who had recently started secondary school. It stopped me in my tracks. Standing at the threshold of adolescence, these girls were leaving behind the relative familiarity of primary school and entering a world of greater independence, social pressure, relationships and, increasingly, online interaction. One girl's question captured the innocenc

"If I freeze, I've failed." Freezing is one of the most misunderstood survival responses. Many people believe that if they didn't fight back or run away during a frightening experience, they have somehow "failed." I will never forget the story of one of my first clients who was sexually assaulted at the age of 14 by a so-called male ‘friend’ from school. My client was tall, sporty and - as a rugby player - very strong. She could have easily overpowered her attacker, but in th

Practical skills, emotional confidence and a safer connection with the body When we think about self-defence, we often imagine physical techniques for striking or escaping. Those skills matter, of course. But self-defence can offer something much wider than a set of emergency responses. Taught in the right way, it can become a practical, empowering and supportive tool for people actually recovering from traumatic experiences such as assault or abuse. Trauma can leave lasting

Beyond the Black Belt – What Real-World Self-Defence Should Teach It’s a common sight: self-defence classes led by martial artists. As a martial arts instructor myself, I understand the attraction. Disciplines like kickboxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or aikido each offer valuable techniques—whether it’s striking, escaping joint locks, or learning takedowns. Training in these arts certainly has its benefits, and I would be the first to shout about their ability to boost fitness, s

This week I led a thought-provoking self-defence session alongside individuals who have experienced violence from a family member. It was a conversation that challenged assumptions and highlighted the complex emotions involved when someone close to us, especially a loved one, acts out in ways that are harmful. Ethical Dilemmas with the Use of Force My work often involves supporting survivors of familial abuse in the case of domestic violence. In these cases, the perpetrator t

Insights and Practical Guidance for Instructors Leicester and the Midlands are celebrated for their rich cultural diversity, with a tapestry of ethnicities, languages, and traditions shaping our local community. In particular we have a strong Muslim presence, and as a self-defence instructor, I am frequently invited to deliver workshops specifically tailored for women within these communities. Drawing from my own experiences, I hope the key considerations below will help othe