“But why would anyone want to hurt me?” The question came from an 11-year-old during a self-defence workshop I was delivering to girls who had recently started secondary school. It stopped me in my tracks. Standing at the threshold of adolescence, these girls were leaving behind the relative familiarity of primary school and entering a world of greater independence, social pressure, relationships and, increasingly, online interaction. One girl's question captured the innocence of the entire...

"If I freeze, I've failed." Freezing is one of the most misunderstood survival responses. Many people believe that if they didn't fight back or run away during a frightening experience, they have somehow "failed." I will never forget the story of one of my first clients who was sexually assaulted at the age of 14 by a so-called male ‘friend’ from school. My client was tall, sporty and - as a rugby player - very strong. She could have easily overpowered her attacker, but in that moment she...

Practical skills, emotional confidence and a safer connection with the body When we think about self-defence, we often imagine physical techniques for striking or escaping. Those skills matter, of course. But self-defence can offer something much wider than a set of emergency responses. Taught in the right way, it can become a practical, empowering and supportive tool for people actually recovering from traumatic experiences such as assault or abuse. Trauma can leave lasting effects that make...